Clinging...Free Falling

I’ve said before that I define my online presence as me allowing others to witness me talking to myself. I am not the blogger who presents to have all the answers or prides herself on being any type of guru. So, believe me when I say that accepting the life path (career, timeline, external desires) I’d been clinging to is not for me but for my ego was one of the hardest moments of reality I’ve experienced thus far. However, the more I talk with friends and older family members I realize that this feeling is common, but many of us don’t allow the shift. Many of us are not doing the work that is in our hearts, but we keep at it for many reasons. Survival. Fear of not knowing what else we “should” be doing. Fear of wasting time that has already been invested. The list goes on... 

I rely heavily on logic; that makes me incredibly obedient to the senses...which limits my desire to take risks. I do what makes sense. I opt for stability and extreme assurance versus trusting what I can’t see. It has its perks, but this Stay at Home Order has given me much room to pause and truly reflect on how much of my daily life has been rooted in fear and performance. That explains the extreme fatigue, resentment, irritability, and emptiness I’ve been experiencing. I have also been able to get a glimpse into an alternative life that doesn’t require rushing or the lack of boundaries that comes with mainstream work culture. I’ve been able to work without the insincere niceties...to take my time...to cultivate a workspace that serves my senses and allows for optimal productivity without daily burnout...to create from the heart...

There has been so much shifting and transitioning happening in my life and the world around me. The grounds are shaky and it’s been really challenging to feel rooted anywhere. It’s scary, but I am excited because I know this glimpse was meant to show me possibility. I cannot simply return to who I was before this time period. Even if I try, due to social programming and habit, my body and spirit won’t allow me to continue deceiving myself. 

This very specific period is requiring a higher level of surrender and introspection than ever before. The “No’s” are making a lot more sense, and it has become pretty clear where I’m being guided because of the areas in which I’m being blessed. 

So, I may not have come out of this period more fit , bilingual, or with six businesses. However, I have become much more clear about who Chasity is and what I am capable of when I tap into my heart and am given the space to wander with a purpose. Structure is most effective when the element of freedom remains a priority. 

What has this time taught you about self or the meaning of life?

Have you benefited from this time?

Do you feel affirmed or full of questions about who you are and why you’re here?

Do you want to return to your previous “normal?”

Do you feel planted?

Comment below or simply use these questions to journal/reflect.

Peace, 

Chasity